Author Archive
A Personal Thought for Valentine’s Day
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As a single man I have learned to handle Valentine’s Day fairly well and normally go with the flow. However, this year has been a personal challenge as I witness my mother facing very challenging health issues. My father is right by her side, though, helping her manage the constant doctor visits, special diet needs and overpriced prescription fillings which are never covered by insurance. A few days ago I gave my Mom a box of Valentine’s chocolates; it warmed her heart and she gave me that special smile and, “Thank you,” that only a mother-son can recognize. As I was on my way out of the room I glanced at my Dad and thats when it hit me – that the success of their 45+ year marriage was not based on materialism, bedroom magic or remembering to go through the motions on certain festive days of the year, but rather God bringing two wonderful people together who dated for the right reasons which set the foundation for a successful marriage even when bumps and tumultuous times hit. It’s always been God’s hand which held them together with His unchanging love. |
Understand Who You Are
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As believers, we have at our disposal many scriptures that reveal to us who we are in Christ. Many of us in the Christian body quote great Bible scriptures, and this is very good and I encourage everyone to practice this regularly in their everyday walk with God. However, in understanding who you are I want to shine the light a little more brightly on personal areas. We have come to know about a few of our biblical heroes: Abraham, David, and Joseph who lived at different times, yet one thing they all shared was that each through a prophetic word came to understand who they were in God. Each revelation changed the course of each of their lives. It is imperative that you discover who you are and why God placed you in this world.
God uniquely created you for such a time as this no matter your size, shape, color, or gender. Everything that you need to accomplish what God sent you here to do is all inside of you. The reason why I strongly urge you to personally understand who you are is because knowing who you are will give you peace, resolve, tenacity, and confidence. When you know who you are, you will not spend your time trying to find it in dating different people. If you know you are destined for a life in New York, you will not take a jet plane to California, no matter how nice and beautiful the jet plane is. Here is another example: take a woman whom God is calling her to missionary work overseas who is on a date with a nice eligible bachelor who hates the thought of traveling overseas and wants a stay at home wife. It does not matter if they get along with each other, or both love God, or really enjoy one another’s company. This relationship will never work if the woman abandons what God has called her to do, in order to become married and appeases her new husband as a stay at home wife. Whatever God has called you to do, he will make provisions for his will to be accomplished in your life which will result in a successful marriage.
Understanding this one step has helped me tremendously. Since I have a firm grasp on God’s purpose for my life, it makes dating so much easier. I do not have to go on several dates to see if there is a match or to see if this person or that person could be my potential spouse. The more defined your purpose and destiny is, the better you will be. Almost instantaneous your decision-making process about pursuing a possible relationship is evident. Because the closer you walk with God, the more defined his will is for your life. It goes back to if God created marriage and he is the third party to your marriage, God will not go into a contract to fail but to win and win victoriously.
Have A Merry Christmas!
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This is probably the most simple yet meaningful post I have placed to date. It is simply have a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah or kwanzaa the one most celebrated in your household.
Remembering the reason for this season.
May God Bless you and your family.
A Look at Speed Dating…is it ok for Christian Singles? (Part-2)
Posted by: | CommentsMany times during my single walk, I questioned the above services; I wondered whether or not I should 
consult such services since I am a Christian. Ultimately, what I am driving at is if God is real and God can do anything, why should I spend my hard earn dollars to help God find my mate? If this thought has gone through your mind or if you are left struggling with this kind of approach to dating, remember you are not alone. In this part I will delve into a brief look at speed dating from the Christian single perspective.
Speed Dating
When you look at our culture today at how fast pace we move, you can see why this style of hurried dating has become very popular in most major cities. The setting is in a local establishment where you can meet eight to twelve people of the opposite sex for short mini dates—each lasting eight minutes or less. You have a questionnaire to guide you along the process. At the end of the meeting you select the people you are interested in getting to know better. Next, the organizers review the questionnaires to determine if there are equal matches. If so, then you both receive the other person’s contact information; it is up to you to take it from there. Although I do not believe this is a highly successful way to meet your future spouse, I do believe it can be a fun way to get out on the town, have informal introductions of people of the opposite sex in a scenario which you would most likely never meet. The real bonus is to take advantage of brushing up on your conversation and communication skills in a fast pace atmosphere.
I come realize in my own opinion this is yet another tool that God can use to help us meet the appropriate mate designed for our life. There are pros and cons to each approach however, if you dim the hope to engage out of your comfort zone then you may never know what opportunity could await you.
Be safe out there…next time I will talk about dating services.
Is Christian Internet Dating, Speed Dating…etc Ok? (Part- 1)
Posted by: | CommentsSpawned by our recent conversation on the SingleOnlineSeminars.com, I figured I would share my thoughts on these in a two or three part series depending on response. Lets us consider in part 1 bringing dating and internet dating into context.
The dating process can be a good experience for some or a dreadful proposal for others; much depends on your own personal experience. As a single, I am sure you have encountered people either from work, church, family or friends who offered to set you up on a blind date. I have had my share of these introductions and some were civil and ended on friendly terms, yet I can still remember a few that were dates from hell (figuratively speaking). Some people have found success this way and ended up getting married, but this is not the type of dating I am referring to. Dating has indeed evolved. So being a Christian where do you go when bars or party clubs are out of the question? A new wave that has really gained wide acceptance is Internet dating, speed dating, and dating services.
Internet Dating
When this type of service first came out several years ago, people were too embarrassed to admit that they were using the Internet to meet other singles. It was almost taboo. At the time it was seemingly limited to those who were computer savvy and understood its nuances. Currently, it is much easier to use. People from many parts of the world and from all lifestyles are going online signing up on single online dating websites daily. Some people, in fact, manage multiple accounts at different websites at one time to increase their odds of meeting their future spouse. There are dating sites that are niche-specific in the cyber world. A few examples are Christian sites, Jewish sites, Catholic sites, and Sports sites. There are also age-minded sites (like thirty-something). In addition, there are ethnic sites and divorced single parents’ sites. I personally have tried both the popular secular sites and Christian sites. It can be a bit of work, going through e-mails and small talk to qualify someone of interest to engage in conversation that is more meaningful. In addition, some website databases do not have large volumes of people to search as some of the popularly advertised ones do. Overall, I did meet some interesting people, but (in my view) this was not for me. Too many people are shallow and are interested in good looks or a terrific body, money, or you can guess the rest. Fortunately, there are some people who have met online and have wed. Although it is still too early to understand the long-term statistics on this type of marriage, these Internet newlyweds absolutely swear by it. This type of dating is not for everyone, and if you choose to try it, my advice is first use common sense. Secondly, always understand and follow the security disclosure, conduct, and privacy protection policies on each site. If they do not have one, then do not set up an account. Thirdly, communicate your faith and beliefs before heading into deeper conversations. The Bible tells us by their fruit you shall know them. The Word of God will either draw them or scare them away.
Next time I’ll talk about speed dating. Be safe out there.
Lowering Stress with Fun and Laughter this Holiday Season
Posted by: | CommentsWhen I talk about fun I am talking about participating in a fun activity, enjoying humor, and laughing this holiday season. Professional research studies tell us that the affects of laughter in humans is one of the best anecdotes for 
lowering our stress level. It can also add years to our overall life expectancy. Can you recall the last time you had a real good laugh, whether you were engaged in an activity with a group of friends, or watching a comedy show, or viewing a hilarious movie. Do you remember how you felt during and after a good belly-wrenching laugh? Most likely you felt more relaxed, wore a contagious smile, and temporarily put problems or worries behind you.
There are many benefits to having fun in your life, but many of us struggle at this very simple, yet powerful, God-given medicine. Between heavy school loads, busy work schedules, and multiple extracurricular activities, it can almost become an afterthought subscribing to a dose of laughter. I used to say, “I love my job,” and I thought it met the “have fun” requirement, but I soon discovered it was much more than just having fun at your given profession or career. You have to engage in activities outside of work in order to have fun. Once I started this formula, I learned that there are a variety of fun activities that I enjoy and that make me laugh. I even found that occasionally spending time with my best friend’s children presented itself as a fun opportunity to be silly and play with them. Permitting myself to enjoy life outside of work and have fun helped me to stop taking myself so seriously. Thankfully today I have a balance, so when it is time to have fun, laugh, and be silly I can simply let go.
I challenge you to take time this holiday season and find out what other fun you can have. Learn a new hobby; travel to exotic destinations; volunteer with children; try a recreational sport; write a book on your favorite subject, or find something you and your kids can participate in together. These are just ideas. The point I do want you to see is that most of us have to earn a living one way or another. If you love your job or if you are trying to get your feet wet in the job market, make it a point to have fun in different areas in your life. Having fun on your job is a job bonus. Outside of your occupation, you need to be sure you have other interests that will complete and balance your life by allowing yourself to have fun.
Dump the Clutter…Get a Clear Picture of Who You Are Aiming to Become
Posted by: | CommentsCrafting a beautiful mosaic and defining and customizing our goals can be viewed in a similar approach. First of all, we need to create a picture in our mind of what we are destined to become, a picture free of negative habits, a picture filled with aspirations, a picture of one who is achieving life’s goals, similar to the detail work and process for completing a one of kind mosaic. 
We need to have a clear picture of who we are aiming to become. This is very important because many people are aiming at the wrong picture for their lives. Is your picture that of what your partner or family member thinks you should become? Is your picture that of what your boss or colleague close to you think that you should become? Worse yet, is your picture a negative picture of your very own future because of past hurts. This is why you need a realistic and clear vision of where you are aiming in your mind. If we want to achieve personal goals in our lives we must put them down in writing. We do this by creating a priority list of all goals and placing time periods next to each item. This enables you to set a time frame for completing each goal. You can manage the list by creating one year, five year, or ten-year goals. To manage daily or weekly tasks you can post sticky notes and place them in obvious spots around your house, car, or work place to keep those goals in front of you. In some cases you may find a special partner that you can share your goal with so you are accountable to that person. This action is geared toward having someone make sure you stick to your goal. Once you accomplish a goal, give yourself a personal reward: a pat on the back for a job well done. This will keep you motivated to stay on track. . I do understand I have oversimplified this process and there are many credible authors that have done an excellent job at exhausting this subject. However, what I would like to get across to you here is that there is not one template or generic goal program that works for everyone. Each approach and each goal must be customized to the individual person and there unique lifestyle. Start aiming a new clearer picture for you and your family’s life.
Do Real Men Keep A Journal?
Posted by: | CommentsWhen someone first told me about keeping a journal and writing down my thoughts and experiences, I thought, that is for girls. What am I, sixteen years old? However, it had not occurred to me how important this simple task was until a few years later, when I ventured out on my first overseas travel to Europe for vacation. I noticed that some of my fellow travelers journaled each day. In fact, some men 
were even journaling. One day I asked one of the men what he was writing down in his journal. He explained to me he was reflecting on the past day’s events and writing them down. It was not until after I returned to America, and a few weeks had passed that I was going through pictures of my experience when it occurred to me that it would have been great to have had a written daily account of my trip. It prompted me to begin investigating journals. I found there are many authors, explorers, and key business leaders who journal (yes even men). Off I went to purchase my first journal. It was not anything special, just a small size empty notebook. I started journaling every time I had a thought or a specific goal in mind. Since one of my biggest hobbies is traveling overseas to experience new cultures, foods, and landscapes, I took my journal and pen in tow faithfully—from Egypt to New Zealand. When I started a second journal, I got a God idea. As I began this journey with God, If we want to achieve personal goals in our lives we must put them down in writing.
So men don’t be subconscious about trying this new task, with time you might find it can be quite rewarding.
If You Have a Boring Life Now, You will Have a Boring Life When You Get Married
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Creating a life is important. During your single status you need to be able to relate to others in life, especially when you are sharing your faith. If your life is boring and all you do is go to church, work, and home you may not be as effective with winning others over to Christ. People will often gravitate or aspire to those who are taking charge in life and living a balanced life of God, fun, family and career. I was on one particular date where the woman loved God but had nothing to talk about currently. She recited to me all of the things she would do some day when God blessed her with a husband. On the other hand I talked about all of the variety of interests and activities I was involved in without discussing a wife. It really made her think about changing how she viewed her own life. When I hear people make comments like, “I will do that trip one day when I get married” or “maybe I will be more active when God sends me a husband,” I cringe. This is the wrong kind of thinking. If you have a boring life now you will be boring when you get married. Nothing around you has to change within your single status, you do not need more job opportunities, friends, nor for your popularity to increase. All that needs to change is you. Once you change, your options will suddenly open up, and you will be on the road to becoming whole and balanced in your single life.
5 Tips for Customizing Your Journaling
Posted by: | CommentsDiscovering and writing my own personal thoughts was somewhat difficult for me in the beginning. I had silly 
thoughts like what if someone were to read my journal, also I was self-conscious that my writing would seem too mushy for a man and for that matter the whole writing process seemed a bit foreign to me. Most assuredly this process will work very well for you. It does not matter if you are a beginner at journaling or if you are advanced at journaling. You will find this added feature a great addition.
Customizing your journal is key to your success. It is appropriate to let your thoughts, emotions, frustrations, dreams, and excitements go. Understand you have full permission to be you; it is absolutely to your advantage. Your journal is one of a kind and the true benefits will arise when you treat it as your unique special companion.
Here are 5 tips for creating ideas that will get you started in customizing your journal specific to you:
- Cut out pictures in magazines that resemble a visual of any one of your goals and tape the picture on one of the pages in your journal.
- Add quotes from famous people that inspire or give you motivation.
- If one of your goals is to go into business for yourself write your company success story, or if you desire to write your first book write your own press release, or if you are in school write about completing your degree and making the dean’s list at your university.
- Add pictures of your family or children, followed by a positive caption next to them.
- If you desire to be married, write down what that special day would be like for you and the presiding honeymoon.
As you can see, personalizing your journal can be very fun and exciting. I challenge you to open your mind and to be creative; add quotes or pictures that depict where you are aiming in your goals. You will soon discover that adding this feature of customized journaling to your normal recording will be far more engaging; it will enhance your experience from just another dull journaling session to journaling with anticipation. Happy journaling.
